The #45 debate

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

When I hear someone support #45, I still initially react with shock, disgust, and am perpetually dumbfounded about how someone in their right mind would vote for him. My stomach tightens and can’t fathom this reality.  Then after noticing all the thoughts, feelings, and sensations and processing them in ways that feel safe and validating, then my calm mind and heart connect. I know that we all are truly doing the best we can with the resources we are aware of. We only know what we know and we do not know what we don’t know. Me reacting harshly or aggressively will only polarize and entrench us more.

All negative behavior comes from a state of stress and unmet needs. We all have the need to feel connected, heard, seen, felt, understood and safe. When we perceive a threat to these needs and our livelihood we react from the unconscious…

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Easter and our opportunities to rise again…

via Easter and our opportunities to rise again…

What is Positive Reframe…

via What is Positive Reframe…

Depress SHIFT

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

I too have been so low

Where death appears as a friend

My body, mind, and soul molten

Rationalizing this as a favor to all

Why would I want to add more suffering?

 …wasted space…

…BREATHE…

 …feel that edge…

  …see who gave you life…

Why punish her labor of love?

Through another’s lens

I am a miracle

My body, mind, and soul awaken

Trusting my innate intelligence

A safe place for all.

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A Ghost Transformed

This poem came to me in my sleep last night…

 
A ghost:
I could be everywhere and nowhere
Invisible yet felt by some
Every day a new hell
But I played heaven so well
I knew exactly the boxes to check
To create the illusion of fine, even perfect
No one could see I was dying inside
A few souls connected and I felt alive
That high was fleeting, in erratic supply…

Space and Alpha waves shift the lens
Turns out the switch was always within
The wires askew, connection disrupted
No one to blame
Just science and spirit distorted and maligned
An over-reactive stress response
Too many threats, wounded egos, and toxins to process at once
Too little of safe spaces, trust, and unconditional love succumbs
There are still a series of puzzle locks
An unraveling of paradox
Yet I now hold the key…
My spirit.

It

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

It beats,

It breathes,

But it does not live.

It goes through all the motions yet numb to progress.

It holds on indulging in loss, never realizing its own possessions.

And what happens if it cannot trust itself?

It cries.

It yearns.

And eventually, it dies.

Without a definition, it cannot survive.

It is only human to make mistakes, but its Consequences that churn its Happiness into Pain.

Pain overpowered by Guilt and Insecurity.

And if the Insecurity isn’t tormenting enough,

Its Uncertainties will horrify.

But it doesn’t end here because after all this,

It is expected to keep believing;

In others,

In itself.

written in 1996

I had spent over a  decade of my life feeling like the “it” above than not and in my 40th year, remnants still haunt.  I even came from a family with more resources than most. Was I born “damaged”? Well if you consider transgenerational trauma and…

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Our vulnerability in space and life

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

I have been learning a lot of about outer space with my kids and it amazes me how our planet is extremely vulnerable. It reminds again of the miracle of life, the dynamic interplay of all the seen and the unknown, and how precious every day is. I had first been awakened to this awareness after experiencing a few miscarriages, the last one being a stillbirth. The loss of life made me conscious of how I must prioritize and nurture my wellbeing and all those who grace my presence. I chose not to conceive again till I was fear-less, accepting that every day with the baby within could still end in death yet chose to appreciate the value of her life to help me slow me down, connect to my own rhythms and nurture myself.

When I faced my own fears of death, I discovered what scared me most…

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healing sexual abuse

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

#metoo #ChildAbusePrevention #SexualAssaultAwareness *Trigger Warning*
It seems on a regular basis, there are certain sexual abuse stories that make headlines, ones that finally get people’s attention. Truth be known that every 98 seconds, someone in the US is sexually assaulted. The statistics are worse worldwide. These statistics do not surprise me, I am actually more alarmed that many others are surprised. Our society is a petri dish for sexual abuse.

Sex is a basic physiological need. Healthy sexual development begins at day one of life. Our society tends to shame and repress our natural desires of sexual expression. So what do we do when we are not allowed to find healthy ways to express ourselves?… We hide it and seek out any opportunity to get our needs met no matter how wrong it may be which most often means taking advantage of vulnerable people. On top of this, we…

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Victim Blaming…Really!?!

I discovered that often times the actions that are the scariest to do, are the ones that will eventually transform us the most.

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

I strongly believe that where you choose to focus your attention and energy is what you will get more of. The past election was challenging to say the least. I have to focus hard not to fuel any more attention for “Zaphod Beeblebrox,” now #45 (my family’s way to say you-know-who with giving him as little as possible of our energy), I can’t help but get triggered by all the surrounding victim-blaming and crazy-making comments. I go right back to all the times it happened to me and the decades of emotional pain and suffering.

I feel rage and want to shake the world… You cannot possibly understand the layers of internal torment a survivor goes through before they even utter a word about one incident and I can guarantee that for every one incident there are plenty more. I was 11 years old when I woke up in the middle of the night at a sleepover being molested. I was 16 when I first told someone, 31…

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“Child Honouring Covenant”

rAmbLingsFrOmPEACEmaker

We find these joys to be self-evident: That all children are created whole, endowed with innate intelligence, with dignity and wonder, worthy of respect. The embodiment of life, liberty, and happiness, children are original blessings, here to learn their own song. Every girl and boy is entitled to love, to dream and belong to a loving “village.” And to pursue a life of purpose.

We affirm our duty to nourish and nurture the young, to honour their caring ideals as the heart of being human. To recognize the early years as the foundation of life, and to cherish the contribution of young children to human evolution.

We commit ourselves to peaceful ways and vow to keep from harm or neglect these, our most vulnerable citizens. As guardians of their prosperity we honour the bountiful Earth whose diversity sustains us. Thus we pledge our love for generations to come.

The words…

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