“Strong feelings do not vanish by being banished; but they do diminish in intensity and lose their sharp edges when the listener accepts them with sympathy and understanding.”  ~Haim Ginott between parent and child

It is a sad myth that listening to one’s negative feelings or outbursts will reinforce their negative behavior. There is a huge difference between giving unconditional love and meeting vital needs versus “giving in”. I truly want to help people learn how to see this difference. To embrace the discomfort as well as genuinely accept, validate, and truly listen to another’s pain. I know it is not easy, more often gut-wrenching and you usually won’t get the ideal result you were expecting, yet it will make a difference. Imagine if more of our communications with loved ones and strangers were more supportive than critical, then just maybe a few less of us will be buried feeling alone, afraid, and miserable…

Because in the end, when we all see the ugly things that we see, and we think the ugly things that we think, and we sometimes even vocalize those things to the people around us, it turns out that we are all unknowingly screaming the exact same words to each other.

“I want to be okay, damn it. I want to be okay.”

If you close your eyes for a moment and listen, you’ll hear the world’s cry.

“I want to be loved. I want to feel normal.”

Listen closer.

“I want to not be judged.”

The more you are able to hear it, the louder it gets.

“I want what I believe to be okay.”

Louder. Louder. Louder still.

“I want to not be hated for who I am.”

Until suddenly it’s deafening.

“I am a good person. And I deserve to be loved.”

That’s what we’re all really crying.

Through the verdicts, and the odium, and the cries of foul-play. That’s what we’re all really crying.

“I am a good person. And I deserve to be loved.”

~Dan Pierce of Single Dad Laughing

click link for full article “The nine words that just might fix us all” http://www.danoah.com/2011/12/the-nine-words-that-just-might-fix-us-all.html

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