“From our school days, we are all aware of the three “R’s.” Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. They are the foundation of a learned mind.  Today we’ll discuss three R’s that are the foundation of a healthy mind, a mindful mind:  Rupture, Repair and Rejoicing.  Just as a school education is preparation for life, so too these three R’s, which we can practice at home with our children, serve us in all of life. 

At home, we spend much of our time in relationship.  We interact with our partner with our children, and at the deepest of levels with ourselves.  While we rejoice (or don’t notice) when the interactions are smooth and collaborative, we feel distressed, doubtful, and become angry and frustrated when the interactions break down.  When things don’t go as planned, we often experience a rupture in our relationship.  Telltale signs are feelings of disconnect such as criticism, passive-aggressive behavior, a silence borne out of defensiveness and fear, an unspoken sadness.

Mindfulness reminds us that each of these ruptures is an opportunity for repair.  That is, rather than replay the same old script that reinforces these painful dramas, we can step out of reactivity and embrace ourselves and those we love with compassion and presence. Doing so, we begin to Repair the rupture.  Neuroscience is teaching us that when this happens we lay down a new set of neural pathways and begin to uproot the old.

Mindfulness does not ask for perfection.  It offer us the opportunity to see through a clearer lens, to gain a larger perspective, and to move toward, as opposed to away from the uncomfortable and painful – that which we resist.  And when we do this, when we break through the old mold and liberate ourselves from our conditioned mind, we Rejoice in freedom, aliveness, and love that flows.

Today, when you find yourself caught in some drama with your child (be in mild or intense), bring awareness to the Rupture.  “Ah, I am caught!”  Open to your intention to Repair the rupture.  Bring attention to your body and breathing.  Smile and awaken feelings of love and compassion.  We are all doing our best.  See if you can respond differently.  There is no right or wrong.  Just disrupt the automatic.  You can’t imagine the benefits, now and for the rest of your life.

To help you on this mindful mission, here is a verse to remind and inspire.

Here we go again

Caught in the same drama

Breathing in I sense my heart beating

Breathing out I sense your heart beating  

How would our hearts sort this out?”

Thank you MindfulParenting.Org!!! I could not say it any better and have experienced these 3 R’s in myself and countless others.