I know that cringe. I know that fear.

I too have enjoyed when no one is near.

You lose the desire to try when all you feel is failure.

No decisions are easy when you think they are all wrong.

So you learn to avoid and you forget to deal.

When you become so good at concealing

You cannot even conceive of healing.

There’s times when I’ve just wanted to explode

And share with the world my many woes.

But when you think too hard, that wire disconnects:

Why am I here?

Why should anyone care?

These breakdowns are cries for help, but no one is listening…

Not even me.



I wrote this on March 5th, 1997. This poem describes the path I was on since I could remember. Fortunately over the past 13 years, I have been  listening and healing.