Your children are NOT yours to control

“Children are not objects that we could control or shape to fit our ideals…Children are indeed uncontrollable, but that is not the root of the challenges parents face.  It is the tendency to control the uncontrollable that makes parenting problematic for many. The only things that we truly have control over are those that lie within the self – how choose to we see our children, think about their behaviours, and act with or towards them. ”

Click this link to read full article by Kenny Toh, Founder of Institute of Advanced Parentology

When You Stop Controlling, You Gain Control

My life experiences have taught me this: You cannot control anyone.  Not even one’s children, nor many of your “reactions” because our brain is a complex series of chemical reactions that absorbs information from all our senses, past experiences and genetic code. Your default “reactions” were developed during conception to age 5. What you can CONTROL is where you put your energy and how you choose to RESPOND. We all have the power to let go of judgement, bring awareness to our thoughts, feelings, and consequences of our behaviors, and gain news skills and resources to get our own needs met.

Want nothing, Have everything…

Learn to yield and be soft
If you want to survive.

Learn to bow
And you will stand in your full height.

Learn to empty yourself
and be filled by the Tao

. . . the way a valley empties itself into a river.

Use up all you are
And then you can be made new.

Learn to have nothing
And you will have everything.

Sages always act like this,
and are Children of the Tao.

Never trying to impress, their being shines forth
Never saying ‘this is it’, people see what the truth is –

Never boasting, they leave the space they can be valued in
And never claiming to be who they are, people can see them

And since they never argue, no one argues with them either . . .

So the ancient ones say
‘Bend, and you will rule’.

Is this a lie? You’ll find it is true.

Be true to yourself, and all will go well with you.

The Tao Te Ching Ch 22
by Lao Tzu

http://www.terebess.hu/english/tao/ramsay.html

Favorite Holiday Quotes

“Happy Holidays! Be a conflict resolutionary. Manifest peace. Love without terms and conditions. Come together with healthy boundaries. Play it forward. Slow it down. Untangle your fears. Parent where you are. Learn it. Live it. Count your blessings. Pass it on…”~ Lu Hanessian http://www.parent2parentu.com/PARENT2PARENTU/P2PU_HOMEPAGE_2.html

“Holidays are the dessert in the meal of life~ enjoy them to the last calorie.”

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” — Andy Rooney

“Your children need your presence more than your presents.” – Jesse Jackson via Transformative Parenting

Happy Birthday Jesus!
 

Do it, SAVOR it or lose it…

“You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you’ve lost them forever.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Men’s Rights?

Sadly, we have emotionally raped men and only left them with blunt objects to fight. Our boys our crying for so much more. Let’s unpack the “man box” and give men back their emotional tools and rights. Let’s cultivate empathy and mutual respect for feminine and masculine traits. We are unable to coexist peacefully with out this level of connection and understanding. We are all part of something much greater, we nourish each other, we need eachother….

When ever you feel the urge to use blunt force, take a deep breath and hug!!!!

Here are some resources to cultivate emotional tools:

http://www.pbs.org/opb/raisingcain/

http://www.williampollack.com/

http://www.fabermazlish.com/Books.htm#HowToTalk

http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/index.htm

greatest need

“I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heals our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other.” – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Check out link http://community.charterforcompassion.org/ to commit to acts of kindness